Cycles

Okay so I read a diary entry from a few years ago, it's funny how I want happy back then with ...

I can't be bothered I've stopped fighting however I don't want random thrown out comments directed at me so avoidance is best, unfortunately the one who started all this will not be happy unless she gets everything ... and because it's always assumed I am the guilty party before I even get asked any questions, and I've been placed as a liar I don't bothered. The same way that I don't run around defending why I follow my faith is the same way I'm not going to defend my character. Anyone who actually knows me would never think I'm a liar ...

And so until I've completely left the whole entire family and the bully begins on someone else they'll never be seen as a bully until there is no one left, until then I guess I just have to take the fact that I'm considered a detestable human being, take care ...

Lies

I find it amusing that I ought to play a game to show my stability and happiness, although I never lie, so it's truth with omissions, a game I have played for many a day.

What's more amusing is that I'm called to support the lies that others cast.

And I realise how grateful I should be for my good health for all the times that I've tried to die and for all the times I should have died, nothing much happened, and sometimes I wonder whether I should try and live the life I've been blessed with when I see no reason for it, I'm too tired to try and run away by getting hitched, etc.

I just want to leave whilst I ponder on Islam, seeing as that's what half hooks me back, and the other half being my cowardice ...